For weeks nothing happened. So I thought I would stop sitting with them. Maybe it's me. By this time, she was talking a mile a minute at home; but nowhere else. She had a breakthrough that day and came home like a decorated hero - stickers everywhere!

But it didn't happen again. Her IEP team wants to put her in the Early Childhood Class next year. As veteran homeschoolers we balk at this. We compromised by trying the class for the last nine days of school. My biggest problem is being tied to someone else's schedule. I'm told there is a bus for my convenience. SHE'S ONLY THREE! Why would I put her on a bus? Her security is more important than my CONVENIENCE.

Turned out the problem was me. I had always sat through her sessions, but one day I dropped her off and left the building. I nearly cried - she is my baby after all. The therapist, on the other hand, was delighted. Caroline talked! To everyone! That child came home loaded with so many stickers her shirt dragged down in the front!

Now we can't get her to stop talking. Or singing. Or humming. We always know where she is, at least. We worried, we primed the pump, now how do we turn it off?

My husband is a true Renaissance man but I have definite strengths.

We've been in tight financial straits for some time....It's hard in this country to stretch one income. The brake shoes went in our car at the same time the refrigerator died. My parents graciously helped us out. We don't qualify for the state run insurance premium rebate program (which we were counting on) and we found out today we no longer qualify for food stamp assistance.

So everything extraneous went. Co-op, Curves, Scouts, the dance class we were considering for our second daughter; all gone. I still have Mom's Group (that check cleared a couple months ago), Lector, and Bill declared we need to get healthy so Weight Watchers is staying for the time being. And there's still doctors and therapy. But it's greatly pared down. Simplified, you might say.

Now I have to get a job. Wonder what God has to say about that?

Last Sunday, I went on my own. Totally my fault-I didn't conquer Mt. Laundry. There were no towels to bathe the children, etc. Forgive me for what I have done and for what I have failed to do.

I agreed to use my God-given gifts again in Lectoring. I did that for a Tues eve Mass. So good to be serving God that way once more.

I LOVE the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

To see my Eucharistic Lord again....the only other time I remember being this excited was the night before my wedding.

The cure for this is to our lives single-mindedly to God; once agaain there will be peace.

Restore What is Mine.

When my steps are driven by passion, every attempt to practice virtue becomes a sad burden. I am dying. Renew my strength and energy.Restore my sight. Turn my life back to You with single-mindedness. Take away the subtle lure of the dark.

Amen.

We Stumble in the Dark When Light is All Around us.

I don't want to grope my way in the dark; please allow me to see the True Light of Your Love.

Come To ME

It is time for me to lay down the passions that torment and torture me. Refresh my spirit and give me rest, I pray.

I understand small, unreasonable, demanding children; St. John compares my desires with these impossible to please children. They're never satisfied.

We get weary trying to fulfill our desires; we cannot find peace or rest or God.

Lest we Grow Too Weary...

I am so weary! From a quest to fill an empty heart and mind with things. More clutter. It means being surrounded by a cacophony of books and music, exploding drawers and toys on the floor. It means going to bed exhausted and waking tired.

"Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden; and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden light." He doesn't say we'll rest forever; but when we're refreshed by His Presence, there's work to be done. Thank you, dear Lord , for keeping me just busy enough to prevent the fear from forming.

Leave Everything Behind

If I am to make this journey to meet,talk, and join with You I must bring nothing with me. The purpose of the journey is to be alone with God with nothing but the desire to be with Him.

I want to be His disciple, but I'm frightened of renouncing everything; I'm comfortable here. But Jesus wants us to let go of all that separates us from the Father. Otherwise, we'll not see the Spirit, because our possessions are in the way of His transforming power.

Let Go Of What You Have.

I know it's foolish to think I can achieve union with You without first emptying my life of my trivial passions and possessions. You have offered me total transformation.

Descend on my soul like a river of peace to take away my uncertainties, my fear of the dark.

I knew people could marginalize us - I didn't realize things could as well.

We Are What We Love

(Yeah, girlfriend Eve, I still want to be God. At least I want to love Him in His three Persons so well no one can tell us apart.) "I am...diminished by the trivial things I treasure. You alone can satisfy my soul."

I travel by night and see by the light of faith; descend on my soul like a river of peace to take away my fear of the dark.

This child somehow threw his blankie in the air, catching that small hole on the plant hook, thereby leaving the blankie hanging from the ceiling, out of reach of everyone. And it's bedtime.So here I am standing on the windowsill because it's taller than the bed using a stick horse to guide the blankie off the hook.

It took about fifteen minutes; we avoided a meltdown because what Mommy was doing and what she was mumbling was SSOOO interesting. Should I mention these windows have no curtains because the child pulled them down in a sensory fit? I wonder what the neighbors thought. How do these things happen?